In this post we will discuss about the relation between our identity and our thoughts. Let us find out this relation. What comes in our mind when we inquire who we are? What takes place when we think upon this question? Let us think together and monitor our mind’s reactions.
I am asking this question to myself that who I am? My mind is not giving me any response. I am asking again this question, who I am? Now this time, thoughts of my name and my gender are taking place in response of my inquiry. But I am not satisfied, name or gender is just an idea. I again inquire myself, with more seriousness. Who I am? This time, thoughts of my family, my society, my friends and my country are taking place. Yes these are mine but these are not me. I am not asking what is mine. I am asking to whom these things belong to. Who is this inquirer? I am going deeper into this question. Who I am? My mind is arranging more thoughts in response to this inquiry. Now this time, thoughts of moral values, qualities, ideas, beliefs are taking place. But these are not me. These are responses of my memory. So who I am? Thoughts are continually appearing in one’s mind. Just by watching, understanding these thoughts, one is dropping them all. One is not trying to hold or suppress any thought, but going beyond these thoughts. It is there, suddenly. Emptiness is covering all over the place. This emptiness is so much vast without any dimension. It simply is with its tremendous power and beauty……
I think our discussion is going far from the topic. Come back to the point again. In simple terms one usually identifies oneself with one’s thoughts. One identifies oneself with one’s thinking, ideas and beliefs which one follows. Let’s take a simple example to understand this reality.
A person is doing study. He is reading a book. Suddenly a thought appears. This thought is “Leave this boring book, just watch and enjoy television.” We name this thought as thought X.
Thought X is becoming a disturbance in his study. Suddenly a second thought appears. This thought is “I should concentrate on my reading.” We name this thought as thought Y.
Now we can see clearly that these two thoughts are contradictory to each other. This is creating conflict and confusion in his mind. Now he does not know to which thought he should follow. In confusion he decides to choose a thought.
When he wishes to choose a thought from two, other thoughts also become active. Now other thoughts are coming up to support these two thoughts. Hundreds of thoughts are coming up, some thoughts are supporting thought X and some are supporting Y.
Mind realizes that thought X has more supporting thoughts in compare to thought Y. Now mind, which is moving around these two thoughts, is dividing X and Y into higher thought and lower thought. Mind takes thought X as a higher and more important one because it has more supporting thoughts. Suddenly thought X becomes holy and more powerful.
Now, thought X has become more powerful, holly, right (due to more supporting thoughts); so the person who is going all thorough this, starts identifying himself as “Thought X”. By this identification he goes into an illusion, in which he is not able to understand the difference between him and thought X.
Now, according to the person, he is thought X. By this illusion he is watching thought Y as other. Now he tries to overpower the thought Y. After a battle between two, thought X remains alive. The person, who identifies himself as thought X, thinks that he has won the game by destructing the thought Y.
This happens in our mind in just one or two seconds. This process of mind is so much fast that we cannot see what is happening inside. Only a person who is completely alert can see this all.
Now if we talk about thought X and Y, both are just thoughts and nothing else. Both have same qualities. Both are responses of past memory. There is no difference in them. But when the person wish to choose one thought, when he compares or try to judge, all conflicts start. And this conflict becomes more violent when the person identifies himself as thought X. In reality, the person is neither thought X nor thought Y. He is completely different from these two. He is beyond all these thoughts, beyond all these conflicts. You will see that battle is between thoughts, not between person and thoughts. But the person is involving himself in this battle only by identification with one thought. It does not matter on which side he is, but just by choosing a side it all begins. Remember, these thoughts, conflicts, confusions, decisions are part of person’s past memory; but he himself is beyond memory; he is not a part of this process.
Meditate upon this and see this reality.